Wind and Rain
When I first came to New York City many years ago now (no tales of age from this
bald pate), I bought an umbrella for use with my new fancy suit. They matched in color and texture. I was one sharp dude.
Right up until the first major storm that tore the
shield from my hands and bent the frame.
In the seventies and in the eighties,
people from all across this nation and others were looking to ensure the safety,
viability and cohesion of kinky folk through organizations and groups.
They were succeeding.
But, farsighted people decided that unless we were all
in communication and agreement on basic tenants, then there was no hope
(together we stand, divided we are aberrations that society can screw with).
The original use of the term BDSM was to make cohesive
the many elements of the 'kinks' involved in this thing we now call a lifestyle.
It did include D/s... it did include BD it did include
SM.... but, it was never intended to make these all inclusive of one another as
a tacit requirement to "belong".
In other words: You might do one... (BD.... DS... SM)
but you may not do another to be "included" in our fine establishment
(seating to the rear is for vanillas only... and the kitchen reserves the right
to refuse service for being dressed.
It is a term of political origin and of political concern today.
Just as when it was first adopted by the National
Leather Association, it brings people a reminder of what it must have been like
to congregate a conference of pansexual multi-fetished perverts for the purpose
of a unification and organization that was so freaking new that no one believed
that it could hold water, hold together, or hold attention from people who could
not even agree on something as simple as where to hold the meetings.
Of late and, within cyber (as this seems to be our
forum to bitch and discuss our navels until the cows come home; and, I do miss
my sweet Bessey) there have been complaints (at first) that BDSM was allowing
people who were strictly D/s to fall through the cracks. 'D/s
Folks' complained they were told it was "normal" for SM or BD to be
incorporated into the relationship to the extent that they were feeling
alienated from the "community" by the inherent conjecture.
The next thing we realize, the argument has developed
into a scenario in which bold statements were made that 'BDSM does not
incorporate D/s'. Organizations on the web and in real life are springing up to
allow people who felt they were not being included as apart of the general BDSM
pervert population to 'have their own group'.
If you have followed this thread to this point, you
realize that people are walking away and dividing the community through a simple
a misunderstanding that we all are "kinky folk"... we all are
perverts... and BDSM was an umbrella for all of us to keep the rain of vanilla
It is a shame that people are tearing at the very
fabric of our 'shield' because they may feel they are standing on the outside
and getting dampened by the folks at the center. They believe
that in ripping the fabric from our whole, they can fashion their own in a
different place, with a different structure.
The fact is: Without the fabric, we have no shield...
and they... without the structure have no support.
I used to go through two or three umbrellas on the
streets of NYC every year. The wind would gust and tear away at the one in my
Through experience with sailing the streets, I have
lessened the loss to none. I know how to use the shield to
walk into and away from the wind, to stay dry, and to ensure that anyone with me
is protected as well.
As long as we walk in step...close...and together.
It is interesting that when the rain is the hardest,
people tend to not wander far from the protection it can afford. But when the
sun is out, we tend to drift in different directions.
I hope this makes some sense.